Community School Initiative

I’ve seen several posts and memes comparing being a stay-at-home parent to actual jobs. And by actual jobs, I mean ones that you fill out a W-2 for. And there’s a good reason for this, being the stay-at-home, parent means you are:

Childcare attendant, Housekeeper, cook, accountant, personal shopper/assistant, Teacher, Butler, and for breast-feeding mothers also a dairy cow.

Let’s face it if we had to pay the wages for all of those jobs we would be broke, which is why we ended up as a stay-at-home parent. But notice which job I put first—childcare attendant, this is because I feel that it is our primary job as a SAH parent (and is something that is frequently forgotten as the primary responsibility—not all the rest on the list). Because as we all know, getting anything done with a two-year-old running around the house is a monumental task in-and-of itself, because as you’re going around straightening things up here comes your adorable toddler taking things right back out behind you and then smiling those adorable dimples, as you try not to pull your hair out. So at the end of the day when your partner comes home and sees the house has pretty much the same amount of mess as when they left. But what they don’t see is all of the other things you were taking care of when that mess wasn’t getting straightened up.

There is this myth that the SAH parent is going to do it all we’re going to take care of all the house stuff, get the kids to school, m sure that all of the miscellaneous things get done, and have time to cook dinner. But this is a true myth and we need to stop feeling guilty for not living up to this mythological state. Because as we saw that list up above is really long. Longer than one person can take care of, so even if we think of this as a “job” it’s still one that is too big for anyone one person on any given day. This is something I experience also when I work at the hospital as a nurse and I’m going to share something that one of my preceptors told me when I first started out. She told me that back when she was a new nurse that an experienced nurse gave her a piece of advice:

“You can only get so much done in a 12-hour shift. You are not going to do it all.”

And so just like when I work at the hospital, I start out my day with figuring out what my priorities are. What needs to get done today? Is it that we need to schedule doctors appointments, get groceries, or figure out what we’re gonna eat for the next couple days? What is it that absolutely needs to get done today? And then I go onto what needs to get done this week, because there are and so having a list for the week is also important. Being able to get these priorities taken care of is what will make you feel successful SAH parent. However, these priorities are the things that we have to get taken care of in between doing our other daily tasks (such as getting the kids up in the morning, feeding, clothing, brushing teeth, dealing with tantrums, changing diapers, driving to and from school, etc.). So do what you have to do to remind yourself and make sure that you don’t forget about those priorities; make a list on your phone, write it on sticky note, whatever works (and it might take several tries to figure out what works).

Ultimately, the job of a SAH parent is one that is simultaneously heartwarming and unfulfilling. Unfulfilling because there is always more to do and you often feel like you’re drowning (just keep swimming, just keep swimming). But then you get the chance to cuddle your toddler when he’s in a mood and know that you got to be the one they turn to for comfort, and all is right in the world.